Day 77: Learning to accept someone elses views
As a kid
When I was a kid, I always had a good understanding of what was right and what was wrong.
When things are right, everything is fine.
When you are doing something wrong, you get shouted at and at this point, you know that something is wrong.
As I was growing up, being raised this way, there was a high sense of justice in me.
And watching “The Batman” on TV, brought that sense of justice to even higher levels.
I grew up believing that this defined me, and this was, me.
At school, I had a very high aversion for bullies.
Batman always fought off bullies or people who do wrong.
So, when I was faced with bullies at school, I beat them.
And I won the fights.
Little did I realise at the time, that I was actually bullying the bullies…
That sense of justice was so strong, that I believed I was doing the right thing.
No more fights
As I started going to university, the fist fights were down to zero.
At this age, I understood that this was no longer acceptable.
So, instead of fighting, I was talking people down instead.
There was still a lot of fighting going on in fact but it just switched from physical to verbal.
All about feeling
After having verbal fights with people, how do you feel ?
If you still feel angry, frustrated or any other negative emotions.
It means you’re doing something wrong.
I know, because I had a few word fights and this is the way I felt after.
Doing it differently
One of my strengths is to quickly acknowledge when I’m doing it wrong.
So, I started doing things differently.
On my quest to do it better, I saw a quote from Charles R.Swindoll and it hit me.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”
This one is golden and the meaning may be hard to grasp.
Let’s take an example:
- There is an image of a red pen
- And someone at the bottom of this image said:
- “This pen is blue”
Someone is wrong, what should you do about it ?
In a limited world, you might have 2 choices.
- Tell that person they are wrong: “ Wrong,this pen is blue”
In that scenario, you should be prepared for a whole lot of opposition. This will go on until he/she accepts that this pen is actually blue.
- Accept that person’s opinion and walk away.
If that person is happy with a blue pen that is red. Then who am I to judge ?
The choice is yours
The above example can be further perverted: Someone is gay and you believe everyone should be straight. Now try making a gay person straight. You might succeed (literally)
The point is everyone has their own truth.
There is no universal truth.
What makes someone happy may make someone else sad.
What you see as a nightmare might be someone else’s dream.
- I saw myself driving a Toyota Vitz. God what a nightmare ! I'm a Mercedes guy! - I hope one day I get the keys to a Toyota Vitz, it's so beautiful and fuel-efficient too !
Your truth may sound like a lie to someone else.
At the end of the day, a car is just a means of transport.
The secret to your own freedom is letting go of everything.
Have a great day guys ! :)